Bible Porn

I had all intentions of sitting down today with a completely different idea for my blog. However, I as I had my quiet time this morning I began reading the Song of Solomon. No, I did not just randomly open to this book, I am trying to read through the Bible in a year and it "just so happens" that I started there this morning. The Song of Solomon is described by some as the pornography of the Bible or a book that should be rated R with no one under the age of 21 allowed to read it. Some of the verses are very sexual in nature and describe a very intimate relationship between a man and woman. Some scholars suggest that this book is a metaphor for the relationship between God and the nation of Israel, others describe it as the relationship between Christ and the church. Still others say it is nothing more than a beautiful picture of the love between a man and a woman. My purpose in writing this today is not to determine if this is Biblical porn rather to see if I cannot share some practical application as it relates to husbands and wives. Something you and I can take away and use.

I have been married for just over 16 years. As I began reading the Song of Solomon I began to think about how much these two individuals reminded me of when my wife and I first started dating. The things Lover says to Beloved or what Beloved says to Lover remind me of a couple who has just started dating or has only been married a very short time:

Song of Solomon 4:1, 2

1 How beautiful you are, my darling! 

       Oh, how beautiful! 

       Your eyes behind your veil are doves. 

       Your hair is like a flock of goats 

       descending from Mount Gilead.

 2 Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn, 

       coming up from the washing. 

       Each has its twin; 

       not one of them is alone.

Now I know that probably none of you speak to your significant other like this and I think that if you went home tonight and repeated this to your husband or wife they would think you had lost it! However, from a practical stand point let me ask you a couple of questions. Guys: When is the last time you noticed your wife's new hair do? When is the last time you said more than "So, how much did you spend at the beauty parlor today?" Ladies: When is the last time you told your husband "You look handsome in that shirt!" or "Wow, that cologne you are wearing smells really nice!" When is the last time you said something other than "You know, I think I saw a safari group driving through our yard today, you think you could cut the grass this week?!" 

Unfortunately after a few years of marriage many couples begin to neglect their mates and the relationship begins to sour. I believe God knew this and provided some warning verses about this:

Proverbs 25: 24 - Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.

Proverbs 19: 13 - A foolish son is his father's ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping.

Can any of you men relate to this? A wife that makes you want to sometimes sleep on the couch or on the porch just to get some relief from the nagging and quarreling! Ladies, there is an old saying "You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar!"  You will probably get more of what you need from your husband if you are kind and use phrases like "thanks for...", "I really appreciate...", "since you did such a good job with the...I would like to see if you could..." With that said, don't think I am going to let you men off the hook. Here is a verse for you guys: 

Ephesians 5: 25 - 27 -  25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 

Now when you first read this you might think, well sure, Christ died for the church and if I saw a bus about to hit my wife I would push her out of the way and risk losing my life. OK, that sounds noble and maybe one day you will have a chance to do that, but what about on a day to day basis. Christ loved the church every day, he fellowshipped with the church on a regular basis, he spent a tremendous amount of time with the church every day. Even when the church frustrated him like they did when he was praying at Gethsemane - Matthew 26: 36 - 45. Even when Jesus' plans were interrupted in Luke 8: 40-47. He did not lose his patience, he did not say I am sorry but I cannot help you, I have other plans with the guys. Men, when is the last time you had tickets to the game or plans with the guys and you canceled them and gave yourself up for your wife's needs, her need for you to watch the kids for a couple of hours so she could shop in peace and quiet. Her need for you to sit with her and talk instead of running out to knock back a few cold ones with the boys! 

If those of us who are married could get back to speaking to and treating our mates the way the Lover and the Beloved did in the Song of Solomon, it may seem a little awkward but it just might transform our marriages into the relationship God intended all along.